underestimate

I think I‘ve underestimated the difficulty to actually survive in foreign countries. A country where you don't belong to in the first place. When you are planning to move to a new place, it's never a "place" or a "space", its the "country" thing that we are talking about.

No doubt, I enjoyed the student's life in UK very much, it's really really safe - less murders (although there are stabbing/murdering cases), no pick-pocketing (maybe im lucky), no house breaking in (I'm lucky to live in well-controlled areas, in fact my neighbours are kind enough to put the key back into my mailbox when he/she saw the key is hanging  outside of my door, lucky no one sneak into our flat when the door was unlocked, open wide to welcome anybody, and most importantly, the whole building was only secured with a glass door, not steel grilled or gated, imagined this things happened in malaysia..), i have not experience robbing/snatching yet (touchwood), and I'm pleased and enjoyed to walk on the road, on the street, by the road side. I was able to enjoy the cityscape while I was walking, and was not have to keep high attention, suspecting anyone around me all the time. Its so frustrating that human beings are hurting each other, accusing, embarrassing people for what sake.

It's freedom here. I found it here to live like a normal citizen who will enjoy their own city. I wanted to do that in Malaysia, but all I will was complained and complaining. It's time for us to improve ourselves, shan't we?  Sometimes when I walked pass the UK polices and don't get inspected, I felt pity for the foreigner workers back in Malaysia. They are there to seek for a living, they are contributing at least but our dear matas are aiming them for extra incomes for coffee. Why don't you get your extra income by diminishing more crime defenders? Why again, human hurting human.

I thought it's really fascinating to have the chance to work here, live here, settle here. and POUNDS.

I think I've overrated and glorify the oversea's lifestyle.
It's never easy.

We've spent money to study here, contributing to part of UK's economy. They branded themselves as high education cities with lots of lots of distinctive universities that attracts students around the world, including Glasgow city. There are 4 universities/colleges packed in the city center itself. This could really bring in large amount of students every year to flux into the city center and we contributed economically okay. We do have student benefits such as council tax and water fees exempted, got free medical services.

If you stayed here for more than a year, you will started to notice how hectic it is to just "settle" down.
The very first year in Glasgow, I stayed in the university's hostel. Easy and cheesy. Everything gaodim. But since the second year, I don't get to extend my stay in campus any more thus I have to find private rented accommodation. After 3 months of calls and non-replied emails, finally we got a flat through our friend Jamie. It's 575 pounds for a 2 bedroom flat. We thought it was quite expensive (asian ma) to be shared by two person, fortunately we have a flatmate. So it was cheaper than staying in uni hostel.

Having to deal with the letting agent for the house repair and maintenance, that's another thing we, as students shall learn. It takes time and plenty explanations. No matter what, you will be blamed first before anything. Boiler spoilt, our problem. The light fuse broken (before it burned several of our light bulbs) was our problem also. We spent money on the bulbs okay! Ceiling of neighbour below leaking, granted  its our problem too because we wet the floor, and ITS NOT BECAUSE THE FLOOR WAS BROKEN OR THE CEILING WAS DAMAGED . It took us a few emails to explain and urge to get things sorted out. Even after complaints, things won't just settled on the right place. The washing machine did not dry the clothes and leave our clothes an awful smell, it took ages for the agent to notify the landlord to change it for us. We fed up and wait it until the very last minute when we have to move out. In the end it forced us to tell the agent that we will not allow any flat viewing until that is settle. chehwa. WHY PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE TO BULLY PEOPLE.
So kind reminder, remember to check the conditions of every single furnitures on the inventory list, if it's damaged on the first place, notify the agent/landlord. Otherwise, it's your fault.

Moving into another year (my third year) and third house, another hassle and hectic process. Since we went back malaysia during summer, our house hunting can only be done through emails, and wow! this is super inefficient i tell ya. NEVER EVER TRY TO FIND A FLAT IN GLASGOW WHEN YOU ARE OVERSEA. We've doubled confirmed it already. The agents will never reply your emails (even I sent it in Glasgow as well), calling is the most directive way to know whether the flat is taken, whether the flat is not available for student or blabla bull shit.
We have been hunting for 3 months with non-stop emails and do you know what we ended up with?

We ended up staying in hotel for the first 3 nights because we couldn't find our flat yet when we reached Glasgow by that time. Hello! I paid tuition fees and visa fees okay! Do you know how much already spent to get to GLASGOW. Why in the end Glasgow housing stocks is not sufficient for students and the private renting fees are way too expensive for students. This is just not right. In the end we found one which was very the over our budget, but we have no choice. We have to tell the landlord of our poor and pity condition to pursue him to rent to us. It is dammmmmm worrying when you are unsure where you gonna stay on the next day, and POUNDS is burning every night in the hotel.

It is a very nice flat. The house condition is good, toilet especially. Hassle-free so far until lately. The landlord inspected our house because he wants to make sure our flat is presentable when people coming to view the flat. But the problem is, our year five stuffs are moved back from university, and boxes piling up cos the storage here are actually limited and we are packing to move. He sent an email telling us that he is unhappy with the flat la, we r treating it like a warehouse la, wana deduct this deduct that la. EVERYTHING ABOUT MONEY. just wanted to deduct money. He even brought up the issue of our bed frame. We reflected the problem to him since January, and he had inspected by himself, but still he wanted to blame that WE BROKE THE BED FRAME (TWO LITTLE SKINNY SUPPORTS BELOW THE BED) BECAUSE WE PLACED OUR LUGGAGE UNDERNEATH THE BED, AND THE LUGGAGE BROKE IT. I have to say, that luggage was not moving constantly, it stayed there as it is most of the time.
WHY.

During my stay for this year, we received lots of letters from city council to "remind" us to pay council tax. Some even forgot we are students and required us to pay half year council tax 1k+ pounds leh. That's really pissed us off like someone keep urging us to return money when we owe one nothing! I have to bring that letter to my uni and ask why even I applied exempted there's letter sent to me, and they even curious why city council want to chase after students for 3 days council tax. It's because the university recorded my official course start date is 3 days after my tenancy start date. WALAOEH WHY city council wants to collect our money even if its just 3 days?   Is that made me not a student when I came back Glasgow earlier to settle my accommodation before the course started? or I should actually skip classes to find flat???!!!

I really dislike it. We have to care for the house, care for the landlord, care for our homework, still need to care for the council tax letter??!! like we would owed someone money at anytime or get sued/penalty?  This gave me a perception that the government is needing money till they can't afford to lose a single penny. Sigh. It's TIRING.

Up to date, I'm still looking for my next flat. It's already been a month, and we are still struggling. Prices hiking like nobody business-- fuck the students la, they are the biggest turtles who willing to pay for rising tuition fees, rising currency rates, might as well the rising housing rent. Why not earn as much as possible.
I seriously don't understand why we want to waste our parents' money to support other countries?

My budget limit for a 2 bedroom flat raised from 750-950 now, it's too competitive to get a flat, some don't take student, some don't do half year lease, many are taken, mostly expensive, by no choice many others are too far. We already start looking for the flats that are out of walking distance still we got nothing. WHY FINDING FLATS IN GLASGOW CAN BE SO HARD. It's always a hectic process.  ALWAYS.

I remembered the average 2 bedrooms flat renting for 2 years ago was 600-700, and I remembered myself saying that to seniors wow! its so damn expensive de neh. And within 2 years, my 1 bedroom flat was already 750. (wow) now a 2 bedroom flat in city center hiked to 800-1200. Ironically, the universities are scattered in city center! How students can afford a flat in city center?  Are we supposed to take train everyday to get to uni?
I just don't understand since when the student's benefits are being exploited, how Glasgow is going to accommodate more n more students in the future?

I thought staying in UK earning pounds is ideal for my future living. But how am I going to save an amount if I have to spend a larger amount just to get settled here? the council tax, the working visa, the rent, the taxes... etc. It doesn't seems easy any more if my biggest intention is merely to earn GBP and convert into RM. It will takes more money before I can earn or save. In additional, according to my verbal survey, the minimum wages for fresh grad is 1.5k, but average wages is 1.6k-1.8k. If you were to work here, it's for experience, not the money.

Nah, I want money at this stage.

I was once confident and believed that I can earn more here. I always wanted to stay here, for the safe environment and for the job opportunity. As years gone by, especially this year, lately my faith defeated by the challenges and faded. We are always on our own here, in the land not for us. We always have to pay more to be here. Am I being too naive without really understand the real situation? Or I'm still having misunderstanding on sth?

Why I started to believe that going back Malaysia to find a job give me stable income?
At the least I can contribute some for my family.

I'm too eager, desperate for money, because of the self-esteem as eldest sister, I've wasted too many years and too many of my mom's hard-earned money. I think I need to start contributing.

It's all about money.
Where is my life ambition?
Do I have any.