麽喇喲

金架麽喇喲。

ok. what should i write? well, i've no idea.
But i feel like writing something to express my happiness, emptiness and whatsoever after my final on 26th August. ok, again, its weird that i wrote this post in English. U know what, I started off with chinese till half way, i keep feeling that im constructing my sentence in English in my mind, and im translating them into chinese and typed it out. Then, why not write it out in English? i should practice my english writing more often kan.

Back to the topic, You have no idea what we went through for the past three months.
Since the beginning i started off this course-ARCHITECTURE. I've been through alot of hard times and denial, which lower my self-confidence. I have no idea what I'm studying, what am i doing in Taylors for that 3 years. Gained nothing, but tons and tons of negation till I'm so lost and fed up with the course.

I have no choice (well, I do have a choice to give up after 3 years) buthen that doesnt make sense when my parents spent so much on me already. I came to UK (find the cheapest way as I could-apply scholarships, cheapest air tickets, compare UK and AUS blabla). Do saved up a little bit cos I got the scholarship（proud). Buthen since the second and third year, no more scholarship for international students, for architecture students (so sucks).

Study in the UK is awesome, despite the chances to travel, the education system is more more more experienced and realistic than in Taylors. People dont simply do fancy design anymore, people dont judged the grading based on wow designs, tutors looked for convincing statement to justify our own projects, reasons, how do we get up to this stage and showed interest to listen to our learning outcomes. Moreover, some of the tutors are patient with our broken english.

Nonetheless, I have become more independent and self-controlled when I'm living alone on oversea. We have to manage daily expenses, finding cheapest house, compare here n there, compare groceries, walk around the taxi, try to avoid spending money on transport, take care of yrself, take care of your home where u will clean yr house automatically, control yrself from overspending, over fun, over budget...anything that is over.

Unavoidably, I have hard times in UK too, since the first year. Language as main problem, I cant speak fluent english made me afraid to approach angmo or express my thoughts, even normal chitchat will scare the shit out of me. I was sooooo eager to find some angmo friends but in the end I was soo hesitated and made none. Epic fail. My design approach is weak as usual. There's ideas but could not developed further as usual. lack of justification as usual. lack of creativity as usual. Everything just kena banned. I went tutorials turned out project get lower mark than what I expected. Im really fed up that time and lagi lost in the second semester. I skipped all tutorials and just turned up for final to present. Bang! Ironically, I got higher marks than the first project. It's so fking annoying and what you see here ya?!

Buthen the buthen! thanks god for blessing me through these yearssss. seriously!
HOW I was able to make it here??!! still continuing the course after so many criticism and low pass.
It's a miracle seriously.

Noticed my own weakness in radical, building or anything related to creativity design, I choosed urban design as my studio unit for my last year. BINGO. good choice. I've learnt alot in the course, its never boring, never abstract, no conceptual overstate ideas. Everything started off from the ground, understand the problem and propose solutions. bring it forward from a macro scale to micro level, such as a building, a public space, a furniture designed in a space. You'll see gradual scaling and transformation which made me adapted to the design process very well I would say. I get to understand the whole process from problem research, identification, statement, initial concept, proposals, solutions, designs. Design should came in these ways in order. It's quite late for me to finally understand this process.

Then, I undergone less struggle this year as I know what I want to do for my pg dip project as just go for it with full force power. iek iek. and surprisingly, I got the best results out of so many yearsss god. Proudly announced that I got 75 and 76 for both my studios subject. It's another miracle for meeee ya know! miracle that never happened in my life before. STUDIO leh!

I got the average 69 btw (over 5 subjects) sadly the professional studies dragged my score down =(
why andrew so stingy!!! I tot i could achieve higher marks as I prepared the submission quite early and everything went well in tutorials. Nvr thought that would be my lowest mark, 58 i think. U see, 58 lowest mark chehwa. DO you know, 55 to 65 was my normal range of studio's grade. so embarrassing wey!

Another miracle is I was very close toooo "DISTINCTION" if my average passed 70. and this need to be the average of my year 5 pg dip and master. which means I need to get 72 and above for my master to get that distinction. walao eh. 72 eh . itssssssss sibeh difficult I swear.
For this reason, I stressed for whole summer. Ofcourse I've got my back, ChunYee was assisted me with whole hearted,treated it like his own project. thanks my babygia. But after the first two tutorials, I'm pretty sure that my distinction gone d. We struggled and confused on what we could achieved from my project, whats the big idea of doing my project and strengthen it with statement. U know, statement is very important. WHY statement is important wo!

My supervisor is quite worried with my progression as Im quite behind. I have no choice but to pushhhh wateva I can and do it the best. And luckily we are able to produce the whole board with the needed information. And I supposed, we have no regret ya chunyee?? hehe

The feedbacks turned out half half 50-50. I dont have any clue on the result yet based on their critics and compliments hahah.
So the result will thereby confirm by tmr after the external examination. GOD bless me!
namo amitabha

Pls miracle please happen to me again.